Thursday, November 27, 2008
More on Holidays - Always Difficult for Grieving a Loss
The holidays are upon us again. The US also celebrates Thanksgiving at this time of year, after which the big focus will be Christmas and New Years. Holidays are always difficult for persons in Grief.
The loss of someone important to us comes boldly to the fore at this time.
We feel their absence more intensely than at any other time of the year.
The tendency is to want to withdraw from all the merry making and
celebrating when we are feeling so low about our loved one.
It is necessary to push at times like these. And be prepared to cry more
than usual. This would be a good time to write a letter to your loved one,
letting them know how much you miss them and whatever else you're feeling at the moment. This is for you, to help reduce the stress, to acknowledge how much you miss them and how it hurts to be without them. This is not a permanent condition. It too will pass.
For those of you engaged in the How to Cope with Grief and Loss
strategies, you will be turning to your journal more often at this time.
It's been working for you so far so just ramp it up as much as you need.
Listen to the relaxation program. Read and listen to your favorite passages
in the book. And let yourself feel. Although this may be intense, when you
come out the other side, you will be greatly relieved and your recovery
process will have taken a giant leap forward.
For those of you struggling without guidance, we wish you well. Your
tendency as already mentioned will be to distance yourself from activity in
order to try and avoid what you're feeling. That'll just make it worse. Be
with friends and family at this time, especially if you are sharing this
loss with others. There should be some comfort there for you.
Sometimes when we are feeling lost and alone we don’t know which way to
turn to possibly renew a friendship.
That pal we had so long ago is lost to us now. They have faded away like
so many things from our earlier life.
Are we to believe that we can no longer sustain such relationships? Are we
to let go of all those sources of comfort that once enjoined us and caused
us great pride.
Our affections for others are what keep us alive. That is, our connection
to each other invites us to live again, to breathe, and to satisfy those
cravings for friendship we once carried around and dismissed.
It’s not true that we have to let go of all this as time marches on. It
is true however, that we have a greater need for each other as the years
speed on by.
When we’re alone, we’re alone, but not in the factual sense. We are
alone because we feel alone. And we are together because we feel connected.
Connected means enjoined. It means we are happy to be in the service of
the Lord. He is our Creator and Guide. He is our Source of constant
comfort. Without Him we wouldn’t have each other, given that we all
sprang from the same “Source.”
Now we are ready to move on, to join with each other once again and to
share what we know and cherish. The twilight of life is a better place if
our lessons to this point have taught us about the value of having good
companions while marching on this pilgrimage toward home.
Home is where the heart is, and that is where we are all joined together,