tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64362822157813545402024-03-06T02:12:10.716-05:00How to Cope with Grief and LossSupport, guidance and recovery advice for individuals experiencing the effects of grief and loss due to death, divorce or broken relationship.Maurice Turmelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16348770053281442364noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436282215781354540.post-16781055452589114452020-01-13T14:40:00.000-05:002020-01-13T14:44:37.435-05:00Coping With Grief & Loss - Press Release<div style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075SPR7MY"><b>When Angels Call - Coping with Grief and Loss</b></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>PRESS RELEASE:</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Veteran Therapist Creates New Grief Recovery Book Teaching Individuals How to Cope with Grief and Loss and Start Feeling Better in 3 Months or Less. St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><i>Maurice Turmel PhD</i></b> points out that our feelings lie at the heart of the grief and grieving process, and addressing these with the right tools offers the quickest path to recovery. By dealing with this core component, we temper the shock and trauma associated with grieving process while placing ourselves on a path of genuine healing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">The grief and grieving process is a subjective emotional experience. It cuts to the core of our being and becomes the emotional wound in our heart that we must now address. This is where the damage lies and where grief healing needs be applied. Understood in this context, we can see why platitudes like “It’s God’s Will” or “Time Heals All” continuously fail and leave sufferers feeling confused, guilty and inadequate.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Emotions and feelings need to be expressed openly with kind receptive supporters, and privately through the process of journaling for the grief and grieving process to have healing take place. The answer to “How to Cope with the Grief and Grieving Process” lies with modern psychology and the lessons of psychotherapy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">When people are encouraged to talk about their feelings, they heal more quickly than through all other methods combined. Honest self-relating is required here. Defenses, emotional blockages, addictions and other strategies of denial block the flow of feeling energy and cripple our attempts to engage the grief and grieving process. These common forms of escape prevail until we learn that connecting with feelings and expressing our emotions does in fact promote healing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Wars have taught us that repression of feelings and emotions becomes manifested in a condition called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Once the experts identified it, they found a way treat it. They engaged PTSD sufferers in group therapy, one on one counseling and journaling, all part of a newly emerging grief and grieving process approach to recovery. These strategies stand out as the best ways for accepting and releasing feelings associated with any trauma, including the loss of a loved one through death, suicide or broken relationship. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We have also learned through study of the grief and grieving process that addiction distracts us from feelings we want to avoid. Recovery from addiction, oddly enough, is not much different than dealing with grief and grieving. Expressing feelings in a safe and receptive environment is the key to breaking the back of any addiction and denial process. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">This approach deals effectively with the grief and grieving process at its feeling core. There are many losses to be dealt with in a lifetime. Whether it’s the loss of a job, a broken relationship or the death of a loved one, this feeling-based approach to grief and grieving leads to a healthy recovery in the shortest possible time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Let this approach to the grief and grieving process be your short cut to a full and complete recovery where your departed loved one remains in your heart as a loving and positive reminder of who you were together.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none; text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075SPR7MY">When Angels Call - Coping with Grief and Loss</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none; text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://howtocopewithgriefandloss.blogspot.com/2017">https://howtocopewithgriefandloss.blogspot.com/2017</a></span></div>
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Maurice Turmelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16348770053281442364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436282215781354540.post-77162227654956675812017-12-05T11:47:00.001-05:002023-12-15T15:32:29.345-05:00Grief & Loss and the Holidays<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">The holidays are upon us again. The US also celebrates Thanksgiving at this time of year, after which the big focus will be Christmas and New Years. Holidays are always difficult for persons in Grief.</span></div>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">The loss of someone important to us comes boldly to the fore at this time. We feel their absence more intensely than at any other time of the year. The tendency is to want to withdraw from all the merry making and celebrating when we are feeling so low about our loved one.</span></div>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">It is necessary to push at times like these. And be prepared to cry more than usual. This would be a good time to write a letter to your loved one, letting them know how much you miss them and whatever else you're feeling at the moment. This is for you, to help reduce the stress, to acknowledge how much you miss them and how it hurts to be without them. This is not a permanent condition. It too will pass.</span></div>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">For those of you engaged in the How to Cope with Grief and Loss strategies, you will be turning to your journal more often at this time. It's been working for you so far so just ramp it up as much as you need. Listen to the relaxation program. Read and listen to your favorite passages in the book. And let yourself feel. Although this may be intense, when you come out the other side, you will be greatly relieved and your recovery process will have taken a giant leap forward.</span></div>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">For those of you struggling without guidance, we wish you well. Your tendency as already mentioned will be to distance yourself from activity in order to try and avoid what you're feeling. That'll just make it worse. Be with friends and family at this time, especially if you are sharing this</span></div>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">loss with others. There should be some comfort there for you.</span></div>
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<strong><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="color: #0b5394;"><u>Feeling Connected</u></span></strong><br />
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><i><br /></i><i>Sometimes when we are feeling lost and alone we don’t know which way to</i></span><br />
<i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">turn to possibly renew a friendship.</span></i><br />
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><i><br /></i><i>That pal we had so long ago is lost to us now. They have faded away like</i></span><br />
<i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">so many things from our earlier life.</span></i><br />
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><i><br /></i><i>Are we to believe that we can no longer sustain such relationships? Are we</i></span><br />
<i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">to let go of all those sources of comfort that once enjoined us and caused</span></i><br />
<i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">us great pride.</span></i><br />
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><i><br /></i><i>Our affections for others are what keep us alive. That is, our connection</i></span><br />
<i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">to each other invites us to live again, to breathe, and to satisfy those</span></i><br />
<i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">cravings for friendship we once carried around and dismissed.</span></i><br />
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><br /></span><i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">It’s not true that we have to let go of all this as time marches on. It</span></i><br />
<i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">is true however, that we have a greater need for each other as the years</span></i><br />
<i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">speed on by.</span></i><br />
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><i><br /></i><i>When we’re alone, we’re alone, but not in the factual sense. We are</i></span><br />
<i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">alone because we feel alone. And we are together because we feel connected.</span></i><br />
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><i><br /></i><i>Connected means enjoined. It means we are happy to be in the service of</i></span><br />
<i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">the Lord. He/She is our Creator and Guide. She/He is our Source of constant</span></i><br />
<i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">comfort. Without the Creator we wouldn’t have each other, given that we all</span></i><br />
<i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">sprang from the same “Source.”</span></i><br />
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><i><br /></i><i>Now we are ready to move on, to join with each other once again and to</i></span><br />
<i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">share what we know and cherish. The twilight of life is a better place if</span></i><br />
<i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">our lessons to this point have taught us about the value of having good</span></i><br />
<i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">companions while marching on this pilgrimage toward home.</span></i><br />
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><i><br /></i><i>Home is where the heart is, and that is where we are all joined together,</i></span><br />
<i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">isn’t it?</span></i><br />
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Maurice Turmelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16348770053281442364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436282215781354540.post-57297291564731850602017-09-29T13:24:00.000-04:002020-01-13T15:39:37.218-05:00Navigating the Stages of Grief and Loss<div style="text-align: center;">
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Kindle Edition =</h3>
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The stages of Death and Dying evolved by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross are often mis-identified as The Stages of Grief Recovery. In her schema, she came up with 1) denial, 2) anger, 3) bargaining, 4) depression and 5) acceptance as reactions to a diagnosis of terminal illness. Her stages only make sense when considered against that backdrop. As such, this configuration has nothing to do with the stages of grief recovery.<br />
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Looking back over my 25 years of therapeutic experience dealing with hundreds of individuals and families going through grief and loss and a review of the currently available data I have come up with 4 stages of Grief Recovery. Kubler-Ross' stages do not fit this paradigm even though they are often mistaken as the quintessential guideline. For those of you seeking grief recovery the following stages are what you can expect.<br />
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1) Numbness and Shock: - We hear the news about the death of a loved one and our mind goes into shock. The news is too unbelievable, too hard to digest in one sitting. Numbness enters the picture because our mind is still reeling from the news as our body goes into a state of emotional numbness. We try desperately to process this terrible news. Simple tasks now feel overwhelming. Feelings of disorientation and displacement are common. Some have described this as a dreamlike state where you feel disconnected from events and people around you. Funeral arrangements and other issues are accomplished mechanically.<br />
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Stage 2 - Disintegration and Disorientation: The initial shock of losing a loved one begins to settle down and we are now faced with the deeper feelings of grief and bereavement. Emotional disintegration, which feels like "falling apart" enters the picture as the reality of the loss hits us hard. Physical reactions such as sleeplessness and loss of appetite are not uncommon and need to be taken up with your family doctor. On the emotional side, feelings of confusion, anxiety, anger and depression may now begin to surface. These deeper reactions are your body and mind's way of trying to release stress. Grief recovery means working through these reactions over time.<br />
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Stage 3) Bereavement and Grief Recovery - Once you are past the shock and have started to come out of disorganization, bereavement and grief recovery can begin in earnest. You can now make full use of your grief recovery resources including books, audio books, healing music and grief counseling. These days, you can be part of an online support group where sharing is the by-word and all persons there are eager and ready to listen and help each other recover. You are not alone, unless you choose to be. And you are not a victim, unless you choose that as well!<br />
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Stage 4 - Coming Back Together / Reintegration - You've been following an action plan laid out in your favored grief resources. A good book, counselor or support group has provided a set of guidelines to follow and you realize this journey of recovery is manageable. Books, audio resources, counseling and support groups provided the framework to recovery you've been looking for. Your action steps bear fruit. You notice a little less emotional tenderness with each passing day and more of your old self returning. Your life has changed. You've lost a valued loved one. The pain at times felt unbearable. But you are past that now and your grief recovery is near the end.<br />
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These are the stages of grief recovery as I have come to know them after 25 years of helping hundreds of individuals, couples and families come to terms with Murder Grief, Suicide Grief, Relationship Grief, Loss of a Parent, Loss of a Child and Loss of a Spouse. I have also dealt with many losses in my own life including a best friend, mother, favorite brother-in-law, special uncle and other family members and acquaintances.<br />
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For a successful grief recovery I recommend the following: 1) Acquire a good reading and/or audio book resource that you can access whenever you want and need to, something that will provide support and guidance as you work your way through the necessary grief recovery<strong> </strong>action steps. 2) Check out any support groups in your area. This will help eliminate the feeling that you are alone and will normalize your recovery experience.<br />
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3) Sometimes local groups are not available. Not to worry because online Grief Support Networks are plentiful. Just do a search for "Grief Support Online" and numerous choices will be available to you. Again, the main benefit is community and a sense of belonging. There is no need to go through grief alone or suffer for an extended period of time. Share your story with others and listen to theirs. This helps you both. 4) If necessary see a therapist. Some of your early experiences may be too overwhelming or confusing. See an expert. He or she will help you get on track with a tailor made grief recovery<strong> </strong>program.<br />
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Maurice Turmelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16348770053281442364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436282215781354540.post-67258956226125734192017-09-22T15:01:00.000-04:002020-01-09T17:01:28.113-05:00When Angels Call - Coping with Grief and Loss - 3rd edition<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large; font-weight: normal;"><i>Just published the 3rd edition of this volume on Amazon.com Completely revamped, re-edited and includes new chapters with references to specific losses such as Murder Grief, Suicide Grief, Relationship Grief and Loss of a Child Grief.</i></span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b>Dr. Maurice Turmel </b>reaches out a helping hand to those who are grieving the loss of a loved one in this collection of reflections, stories, parables and poems coupled with sound advice garnered from 25 years of professional practice. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b>This is both a practical and spiritual approach</b> to what is for many the most difficult task we must face as humans on this earth. With simple guidance, illustrative stories and reflective pauses, the reader is taken through the ups and downs that constitute this universal experience and given tools to help navigate this most difficult of tasks. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b>Utilizing both psychology and spirituality as guides</b>, the reader is encouraged to look within, seek help when necessary and reflect on this unique experience that holds the potential for growth regardless of the facts and circumstances surrounding one's lost loved one. "We are the ones experiencing grief and loss, not the Dearly Departed. And we are the ones who need healing during this trying time and must, by necessity, open our hearts to receive the comforting gestures pouring our way. Only in this manner can genuine healing proceed." </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b>A Treasure Trove of Wonderful Material!</b> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">“Thank you so much for this Dr. Turmel. I love how you write; so down to earth. Not all that mumbo jumbo we mere mortals have trouble digesting. I’ll be sharing these stories and insights with readers of my Grieving Behind the Badge Newsletter - Many HUGS” </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b><i>Peggy Sweeney - The Sweeney Alliance - Kerrville, TX </i></b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b>Different Kinds of Loss</b> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">We must go through the stages of grieving to heal our hearts. In this book on Coping with Grief and Loss, Dr. Turmel opens the door to the heart with his amazing way of delivering stories that put us on the path to healing. His way of explaining and guiding us on the path of grief is a blessing that must have come from Angels and God. When Angels Call is a true gift for anyone who's heart is grieving and looking to heal." </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b><i>Carol Guy, Angelic Counselor and Author </i></b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b>Appeals to Persons of Many Faiths </b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Even though references to God are Christian in tone ‘When Angels Call - Coping with Grief and Loss’ will appeal to persons of many faiths suffering the experience of loss. The stories are simple and hold interest, offering much comfort, insight and motivation to share one’s Grief, that being essential to the healing process. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b><i>Father Gilbert Gariepy, Chaplain Services - Health Sciences Centre, Wpg., MB. </i></b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b>An Exceptionally Inspiring Book</b> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">"Dr. Maurice Turmel has written an exceptionally inspiring book for those experiencing the grieving process, and for the general reader as well. Filled with inspirational stories, poetry, and reflections, “When Angels Call - Coping with Grief and Loss" is more than just a book: it is an interactive experience that will raise your spirits. Dr. Turmel has the knack of hitting just the right note at just the right time. I have to say that I truly enjoyed this work. It's a gem that you can refer back to again and again when you're feeling low, or when you just need a spiritual lift.” </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>Kenneth MacLean, Author of "The Vibrational Universe"</b></i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/154979471X?ref_=pe_870760_150889320">When Angels Call - Coping with Grief and Loss</a></b></i></span><br />
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Maurice Turmelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16348770053281442364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436282215781354540.post-69002338443196996522015-12-09T14:03:00.001-05:002017-09-23T13:23:42.940-04:00The Wonderland of Grief & Loss <br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/154979471X?ref_=pe_870760_150889320">When Angels Call - Coping with Grief and Loss</a></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The land of Grief and Loss is not a particularly favorable destination but one that we cross paths with on a regular basis throughout our lifetime. We are rarely ready for this. In our culture, so much has gone into the Denial of Death that we find ourselves at a loss when the real thing comes along.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Let's take a closer look, shall we.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When a death occurs in our sphere of influence, we, the bereaved of the world, find ourselves in some kind of wonderland that we can't explain. This is a special place, an unusual place, outside the mainstream of our regular day to day existence.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We've been thrown into this land called Grief & Loss by the sudden and/or unexpected death of a loved one. Unexpected here means unprepared, unwitting and most assuredly, unwanted.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We are lost and afraid. We don't know our way around this territory. It feels strange. It feels almost Hollywood like in the same sense that it seems so surreal.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When we land here, unexpectedly, and usually suddenly, we are told by others what to expect, what could happen, and what one might feel under the circumstances.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">At the funeral home there are people who travel this road regularly because its their business. They usually look pale and sad, almost zombie like, because that's the nature of this environment. The clothes they wear are as dark as the mood they convey. These caretakers of the dead and of us in grief know this journey all too well. They are always quite respectful of we, the uninitiated. In their world, death and grieving are a straightforward circumstance that they see every day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To all of us, now in the throes of grief, this death and dying business is an aberration, like falling off a cliff emotionally speaking, something we don't encounter on a regular basis, and therefore, alien to our usual life circumstances. The experience of death and grieving is also something we are often repelled by and dragged into kicking and screaming regardless that it is a mainstay of our collective destiny.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So here we are in this Wonderland called Grief & Loss feeling things we don't want to feel, experiencing emotions that are quite powerful and overwhelming and far outside our usual array of daily life experiences. We are forced by these circumstances to gather in places we don't want to be in, talk about emotions we don't want to discuss, while checking our watches to pinpoint the right moment for our exit. We are face to face with a deceased loved one, a friend, a partner, a relationship that is now terminally broken.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We will never see this person again. We will not speak with them, receive emails from them, or connect again in any fashion we had become used to over the course of our lives. A big hole has opened up inside and it is filling with grief emotions we can't seem to control.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What do we do with ourselves now? Initially at least we appear to sleepwalk through the process. These are early days of grief and loss where the emotions are powerful and the mood is dark. We are surrounded with mists of doubt, feelings of abandonment, self-admonishment perhaps – a whole host of pejoratives that we're busy conjuring up to try and make sense of this reality we now face.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Guilt, shame, sadness and weeping are all part of this process, this wonderland experience. It is at such times where we find out things about ourselves we'd rather not admit to, things about the deceased we were never privy to, a whole host of revelations that might have remained buried were this person still with us now. The ground underneath us is shaking and continues to move.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Welcome to the Wonderland of Grief & Loss. This place is vastly different from your regular life circumstances and you shall remain here for some time to come.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Time heals all? Not True!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Time heals if we do the work of acknowledging our feelings and working through them. These powerful emotions are extremes in the feeling range of life and they are upon us like a large dark cloud which has settled in for some time to come, whatever may be the duration of this process.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">These extremes of emotional experiencing will pass eventually because all healing processes have beginnings and endings that are somewhat predictable. As the grieving work is accomplished the dark cloud eventually breaks up and then dissipates. This is the Wonderland of Grief & Loss.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Your stay in this valley of experience may be brief or long, depending on whom was lost and your attachment to that individual. Such events are always memorable even when filed away in the psychological closets we prefer not to visit. For those open to the experience and willing to embrace what needs to be done, there are lessons here that can deliver growth experiences unattainable anywhere else.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For those of you willing to do the work, make sure you say your prayers, whatever they may be and ask for the guidance and support you truly deserve. That will be forthcoming in whatever form suits you best.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Talk about the loss with your friends. See a therapist if that's required. Join a grief recovery group. Give yourself every benefit that's readily available. And this too shall pass. You will survive and you'll grow stronger as a result of having done the work.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That's the message here, dear friends. The work has to be done or you will drag these ill effects with you far into the future, tainting every aspect of your life experience with this unattended sadness and remorse that simply begs for acknowledgment and release.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If you're still feeling stuck, ask yourself this:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“What would my deceased family member / loved one want for me in this circumstance? How would they want me to proceed?" Or, if the tables were turned and you were looking at them while they were grieving you, what would you urge them to do for themselves? Then govern yourself accordingly.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Its an alien place at first, this Wonderland of Grief & Loss – but only at first. Soon we realize that this experience comes and goes like the seasons and we will pass here many times throughout our life journey before we come to our own final goodbye.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: 17.333333333333332px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Give yourself what you need and you'll manage it all quite well. Then you'll be surprised at how quickly the grieving recedes once you've undertaken the healing process as a whole. The smiles will be back. The joy of living will return. Even your lost loved one will come to be viewed as an asset in the winding journey of your life, a person now easily called to memory with fondness and love. Win Win!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/154979471X?ref_=pe_870760_150889320">When Angels Call - Coping with Grief and Loss</a></b></span></div>
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Maurice Turmelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16348770053281442364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436282215781354540.post-44703768760070197202014-12-07T12:26:00.001-05:002017-09-23T12:29:20.232-04:00Video: When Angels Call - Coping with Grief & Loss<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GLLLZ9zZ_z8?list=UUBM08vrk-BFRbFj3TeYd83Q" width="480"></iframe><br />
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Maurice Turmelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16348770053281442364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436282215781354540.post-66326135448557392662009-06-23T15:57:00.004-04:002020-01-09T17:01:49.161-05:00Grief and Loss Overview<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">Grief and Loss Overview</span></strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/154979471X?ref_=pe_870760_150889320">When Angels Call - Coping with Grief and Loss</a></b></span></div>
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<em>Maurice Turmel PhD</em><br />
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An overview of grief and loss shows us that this is a broad category of life experience. We usually associate it with death and dying, but it can include losing your employment and broken relationships as additional categories that generate the grief experience. Grief and loss comes in a multiplicity of dimensions that affect our daily lives.<br />
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Losing a loved one is what we typically associate with grief and loss. But losses of many types can also generate powerful grief reactions. We include here broken relationships, loss of a pet and loss of employment. When the loss experience strikes we immediately want relief and begin seeking some kind of recovery help.<br />
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Today we can see grief and loss associated with divorce, relationship breakup, pet grief and loss of employment. We can also see associations with the loss of ones home, place of business and career aspirations as some hopes and dreams never materialize. We tend not to see these as grief and loss categories, but in fact they are losses that affect us in similar ways as losing a loved one.<br />
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The main point of this article is that dealing with grief and loss has a lot of common dimensions over all of its related categories. We mourn the loss of a loved one. We grieve the loss of a pet. We agonize over a broken relationship. We become depressed at the loss of our job.<br />
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What is the central point here? Why do we examine grief and loss from all these points of view? Because at the heart of every crisis is an emotional wound. We feel hurt, depressed and sad. We feel lost and afraid. Something we valued has been taken away. We feel pain associated with any loss and that usually elicits anger as a first response. These reactions are typical in every type of grief and loss experience.<br />
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Grief and loss, as a life experience, emerges in many aspects of our lives. Learning to relieve ourselves of stress via relevant grief recovery programs can have far reaching benefits. Recovering our usual bounce and drive is a worthy goal and significant benefit in grief recovery. Whatever we learn about dealing with grief and loss can be applied across its many dimensions and occurences.<br />
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Growing, expanding and losing are part of the life cycle. A snake crawls into the tall grass in order to shed its old skin. Why? Because the new underneath is pressing for release. Each cyle of our life presents circumstances in which we lose something to gain something better. Letting go is a tough life lesson, but essential to our growth. The old must die so that the new can be born.<br />
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Losing a loved one is a powerful and devastating experience and one we never solicit consciously. This is the most difficult of all losses and we acknowledge that it is hard to see any benefit in it. But losing and gaining are with us everyday in a great variety of forms. Learning to cope with all types of loss will help us when the big losses strike. Finding the right resources is essential to managing our <a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.trans4mind.com/life-coach/life-challenge7/entry7.html"><strong>grief and loss</strong> </a>experience.<br />
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Dealing with our emotions is central to the recovery process, no matter what type of loss you encounter. Turning to each other for comfort and solace can bring peace and new found friendships. All times of trial have their secret benefits. That is the main lesson from grief and loss. Life does go on.<br />
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<br />Maurice Turmelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16348770053281442364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436282215781354540.post-26323316573544815162009-05-22T11:38:00.003-04:002020-01-13T15:38:56.430-05:00Counseling and Grief Recovery<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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When I was in private practice I saw a lot of individuals who were grieving the loss of a loved one, whether that was a child, a spouse, a parent or a close friend. On a few occasions I saw couples where one of them had been diagnosed with a terminal condition and had less than 6 months to live. These situations were particularly traumatic for the persons involved, especially for the spouse who was not ill.<br />
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These couples, with the terminally ill partner, needed to work through feelings about their situation and the practical steps necessary to prepare for the inevitable. The terminally ill partner seemed to have an easier time with the process once they had accepted the reality of their death. When my brother-in-law was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I witnessed the same effects taking place for he and my sister. Broadly speaking, it was always the surviving partner that had the toughest time.<br />
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With counselling of any sort, the goal is to LISTEN! Not just to hear the words an individual was speaking, but to identify the Feelings behind them. When I would reflect back to the individual I always began with sounds like you're feeling " sad, angry, scared, anxious, depressed " whatever it was they were conveying. I would then ask them to check in to see if what I said was accurate. It usually was.<br />
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Then I would instruct them to pay attention to that particular feeling and tell me more about it. They would then describe their feelings in detail along with whatever physical reactions might be attached to it. Tears would begin to flow as they related the physical and emotional reactions they were experiencing. This was the essence of my counselling approach for persons in grief, no matter what the precipitating circumstances. <br />
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It was not unusual for clients to ask about Stages of Grief and/or some theory they had heard about in their research on the matter. As interesting as this might be, I would point out that anything that distracted them from their feelings was a waste of their recovery efforts. In contrast, anything that helped them focus on feelings would always be the most beneficial. After a few challenging sessions, where painful feelings were addressed and released, the client would realize that this was the path to recovery. Not only that, but learning to identify, describe and release feelings as a general practice, would have benefits far beyond their successful grief recovery.<br />
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We are programmed toward externals by our various sources of news that like to talk about charts, graphs, theories and stages. These tantalizing tidbits are geared toward boosting ratings or adding another "Top Ten Ways to Heal Grief" book to the self-help section of bookstores. A helpful grief recovery resource will focus on Internals, such as feelings and emotions, because that's always where the hurt lies. Our Heart and Feeling Center determines the quality of our life and tells us when we are hurting. By focusing inward we identify and release feelings, along with the associated pain. Writing in a journal, listening to good music, reading heart-centered poetry will put you in touch with Your Heart because that's where healing actually happens.<br />
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A well written grief recovery book can become an excellent counselling companion as long as it is designed to put you in touch with your feelings. A fully narrated grief resource can take you even further. Since the feelings associated with grief and bereavement are so intense, youre practically there. Just a little push and the guidance counselling resource book and youre on your way. For most of us, all we need is Permission to Feel. Our heart and soul will take it from there because we have engaged our body and feeling natures innate healing capability.<br />
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With any recovery process there can be many distractions along the way. In the case of grief recovery these can come in the form of stages, charts and graphs that are intellectually interesting but have no value in terms of your <b>grief recovery</b>. Most religions, even though well-intentioned, fall short on this matter as well. A good grief resource, counselor or support group can help you focus on the heart of the matter which is your feeling nature. Externals, even when interesting, can detract you from the task at hand - healing your broken heart.<br />
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You now have what you need to heal your grief. You will recover from this tragedy and great loss. You will become intimately acquainted with your Heart and Feeling Centre. You will come to a point where you can think about your loved one and smile. Because when the hurt is finally healed, what remains with you is the love you carry in your heart, and that is forever.<br />
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Maurice Turmelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16348770053281442364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436282215781354540.post-30513127648247689862009-05-20T12:12:00.003-04:002017-09-29T13:14:18.892-04:00The Real Stages of Grief Recovery <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The stages of Death and Dying evolved by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross are often mis-identified as The Stages of Grief Recovery. In her schema, she came up with 1) denial, 2) anger, 3) bargaining, 4) depression and 5) acceptance as reactions to a diagnosis of terminal illness. Her stages only make sense when considered against that backdrop. As such, this configuration has nothing to do with the stages of grief recovery.<br />
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Looking back over my 25 years of therapeutic experience dealing with hundreds of individuals and families going through grief and loss and a review of the currently available data I have come up with 4 stages of Grief Recovery. Kubler-Ross' stages do not fit this paradigm even though they are often mistaken as the quintessential guideline. For those of you seeking grief recovery the following stages are what you can expect.<br />
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1) Numbness and Shock: - We hear the news about the death of a loved one and our mind goes into shock. The news is too unbelievable, too hard to digest in one sitting. Numbness enters the picture because our mind is still reeling from the news as our body goes into a state of emotional numbness. We try desperately to process this terrible news. Simple tasks now feel overwhelming. Feelings of disorientation and displacement are common. Some have described this as a dreamlike state where you feel disconnected from events and people around you. Funeral arrangements and other issues are accomplished mechanically.<br />
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Stage 2 - Disintegration and Disorientation: The initial shock of losing a loved one begins to settle down and we are now faced with the deeper feelings of grief and bereavement. Emotional disintegration, which feels like "falling apart" enters the picture as the reality of the loss hits us hard. Physical reactions such as sleeplessness and loss of appetite are not uncommon and need to be taken up with your family doctor. On the emotional side, feelings of confusion, anxiety, anger and depression may now begin to surface. These deeper reactions are your body and mind's way of trying to release stress. Grief recovery means working through these reactions over time.<br />
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Stage 3) Bereavement and Grief Recovery - Once you are past the shock and have started to come out of disorganization, bereavement and grief recovery can begin in earnest. You can now make full use of your grief recovery resources including books, audio books, healing music and grief counseling. These days, you can be part of an online support group where sharing is the by-word and all persons there are eager and ready to listen and help each other recover. You are not alone, unless you choose to be. And you are not a victim, unless you choose that as well!<br />
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Stage 4 - Coming Back Together / Reintegration - You've been following an action plan laid out in your favored grief resources. A good book, counselor or support group has provided a set of guidelines to follow and you realize this journey of recovery is manageable. Books, audio resources, counseling and support groups provided the framework to recovery you've been looking for. Your action steps bear fruit. You notice a little less emotional tenderness with each passing day and more of your old self returning. Your life has changed. You've lost a valued loved one. The pain at times felt unbearable. But you are past that now and your grief recovery is near the end.<br />
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These are the stages of grief recovery as I have come to know them after 25 years of helping hundreds of individuals, couples and families come to terms with Murder Grief, Suicide Grief, Relationship Grief, Loss of a Parent, Loss of a Child and Loss of a Spouse. I have also dealt with many losses in my own life including a best friend, mother, favorite brother-in-law, special uncle and other family members and acquaintances.<br />
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For a successful grief recovery I recommend the following: 1) Acquire a good reading and/or audio book resource that you can access whenever you want and need to, something that will provide support and guidance as you work your way through the necessary grief recovery<strong> </strong>action steps. 2) Check out any support groups in your area. This will help eliminate the feeling that you are alone and will normalize your recovery experience. <br />
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3) Sometimes local groups are not available. Not to worry because online Grief Support Networks are plentiful. Just do a search for "Grief Support Online" and numerous choices will be available to you. Again, the main benefit is community and a sense of belonging. There is no need to go through grief alone or suffer for an extended period of time. Share your story with others and listen to theirs. This helps you both. 4) If necessary see a therapist. Some of your early experiences may be too overwhelming or confusing. See an expert. He or she will help you get on track with a tailor made grief recovery<strong> </strong>program.<br />
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Maurice Turmelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16348770053281442364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436282215781354540.post-6369412540747935952009-05-15T12:20:00.005-04:002020-01-09T17:02:57.929-05:00Managing Bereavement II<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">Managing Bereavement</span></strong></div>
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<em><b>by Maurice Turmel PhD</b></em></div>
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Bereavement has a definite beginning but no predictable end. How you manage your bereavement recovery will determine how long it takes to regain your former composure. Avoiding, or repressing the feelings of sadness and the need to cry will sabotage your recovery efforts.<br />
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A good recovery program for bereavement requires that you face and accept uncomfortable feelings. Following such a plan will shorten the bereavement time period. What we mean here is that a well laid out approach will net results in weeks, or just a few short months. In this day and age, bereavement recovery should never be measured in years.<br />
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I instructed my clients to read specified material and journal about their feelings as we proceeded with their bereavement recovery. These assignments were to be completed between meetings because the importance of work done outside the consulting room needed to be emphasized. Clients would complete their homework and report at the next session. Taking responsibility for their feelings grew in proportion to this work and was spurred on by a noticeable diminishment in pain.<br />
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My bereavement recovery program came out of these experiences. After hundreds of cases of grief, loss and bereavement, I noticed a particular group of strategies began to emerge as essential to the recovery process. Taking these lessons and adapting them to mythical stories and poetry, along with the more literal instructions, helped drive the lessons home.<br />
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Supporting the written word with audio narration puts feeling into the words and helps reinforce many important points for bereavement sufferers. Most good books that aim to help individuals navigate this thorny emotional experience emerge this way. The writer's training and consulting experience helps extract the important themes from the client's experiences and turn them into a recovery program. Adding a poetic flair strengthens the impact of the narration and provides even better results.<br />
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Today we know more about grief recovery and bereavement than at any other time in our human evolution. Generations ago mythology served the purpose of guiding individuals through important life lessons by couching them into stories that were passed along verbatim. Every culture had them and every period of our human history reveals their presence. Todays psychology was yesterdays mythology and actually rests on that foundation. <br />
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Even in mythology, it becomes clear that a feeling based approach to bereavement recovery is the treatment of choice. With today's understanding of emotional dynamics, defense mechanisms and other survival strategies the point is driven home. A heart-centered and feeling based approach will deliver the best results in the shortest amount of time. The debilitating effects of grieving and bereavement can be turned around in a few short weeks.<br />
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Stories, poems, reflections and music selections are designed to put you in touch with your feelings. As each piece is read, listened to and digested, you are ready to start journaling and put those feelings down on paper. This is where <b>grief recovery</b> begins in earnest.<br />
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Your heart, your feelings, and your growing self-awareness are the keys to helping you heal your broken heart. You will travel this path with significantly less stress as a result of this detailed approach. No, it's not easy, but it is a journey that can be won. Many have done so using these strategies and so can You!<br />
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<br />Maurice Turmelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16348770053281442364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436282215781354540.post-30412904224089179372009-05-11T18:25:00.003-04:002017-09-23T12:02:17.884-04:00Working Through Your Grief Recovery<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Working through your grief recovery is a fairly straightforward process once you understand the process involved. There are specific actions you can take to counteract the physical and emotional upheaval you are experiencing as a result of your losing a loved one. A variety of grief recovery methods are available and worthy of consideration.<br />
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Shock and disorientation are the first experiences we encounter upon hearing about the death of a loved one. This is the way our body and mind typically react to news of a personal tragedy. We find it difficult at first to absorb and accept the reality of this tragic news.<br />
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A sense of disorganization may persist until the reality of this tragic situation sinks in. We proceed in a dreamlike state through the funeral arrangements, the influx of family and friends, and the inevitable post burial let down. Our feelings and emotions are kept at bay until we complete these practical necessities.<br />
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Grief recovery begins after the family has left and we've made significant headway with our acceptance of the loss. Anxiety, depression and similar raw emotions that we previously contained are now allowed to surface. Once we are alone with our thoughts, feelings and reactions our grief recovery looms as a necessity.<br />
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Thoughts and feelings associated with losing a loved one make their way into awareness and begin pressing for attention. If we have some experience dealing with feelings, then the experience we are being exposed to may be easier to navigate. If this is our first tragedy then our grief recovery will be complicated by the confusion and disorientation that struck us at first and is now laden with these powerful emotions.<br />
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Medical help is a good option for our grief recovery in the short term. The effects of sleep deprivation, overwhelming anxiety or deep depression can be mitigated by physician prescribed medications. Your mind, body and emotions have received a severe shock and will benefit from this intervention and help you settle down.<br />
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Over the long term, additional grief recovery options worth considering may include joing a support group, seeing a therapist and acquiring helpful books and audio resources. If you feel strong enough in the face of this tragedy then a good book resource may be all that is required.<br />
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Books and audio resources usually include a description of the grieving process and an outline of the stages you are likely to encounter. The better resources provide a step by step program for dealing with your emotions which always reveal the strongest effects due to a recent loss. A grief recovery program that focuses on your emotions and feelings will deliver the greatest benefit in the shortest amount of time.<br />
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Grieving individuals often appreciate poetry and music as an accompaniment to their grieving process and healing measures. A good grief recovery resource will address all of these dimensions while helping you focus on your feelings and emotions. With the right tools and your determination to heal your grief recovery can proceed in short order, by which we mean weeks, or a few short months - but not years.<br />
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Maurice Turmelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16348770053281442364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436282215781354540.post-90701050109144731422009-04-02T13:04:00.005-04:002017-09-23T13:19:54.946-04:00Grief Counseling<br />
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When I was in private practice I saw a lot of individuals who were grieving the loss of a loved one, whether that was a child, a spouse, a parent or a close friend. On a few occasions I saw couples where one of them had been diagnosed with a terminal condition and had less than 6 months to live. These situations were particularly traumatic for the persons involved, especially for the spouse who was not ill.<br />
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With these couples, we would discuss what was happening and how each of them was dealing with their feelings. The diagnosed partner seemed to have the easier time, having accepted their illness and the eventual fatal consequence. I saw this in my own family with my now departed brother-in-law and my sister. It was always the surviving partner who had the most difficulty.<br />
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With counselling of any sort, the goal is to LISTEN! Not just the hear the words an individual was speaking, but to identify the Feelings behind them. When I would reflecte back to the individual I always began with “sounds like you’re feeling – sad, angry, scared, anxious, depressed – whatever it was they were conveying. I would then ask them to check “in” to see if what I said was accurate. It usually was.<br />
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Then I would instruct them to pay attention to that particular feeling and tell me more about it. They would then describe their feelings in detail along with whatever physical reactions might be attached to it. Tears would begin to flow as they related the physical and emotional reactions they were experiencing.<br />
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This was the essence of my counselling approach for persons in grief, no matter what the precipitating circumstances. Sometimes they would want to know about “Stages” and other catch phrases associated with grief and loss, and I would just steer them back to their feelings. Once they realized that this was more important, it became easier for them to go there themselves and accept that crying and sharing were in their best interest.<br />
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For some individuals it would take a few sessions to get them acquainted with this feeling approach, but eventually they got it. And working with their feelings through their period of grief became OK. Many of these individuals would later report that keeping in touch with their feelings had many advantages and helped them with other aspects of their life. Lesson learned! Being in touch with your feelings is essential to a healthy life.<br />
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Our society is geared toward Externals, like stages, graphs, charts, outlines and theories. Good counselling focuses on Internals – feelings, emotions and physical reactions. In other words, counselling focuses on “The Heart” where we feel our life and where emotional healing takes place. Once an individual is properly focused they can take it from there. A few tools like Journaling, Writing Letters to your lost loved one, listening to favourite music and poetry will put you in touch with Your Heart. You can now heal because you are listening to YOUR HEART!<br />
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"When Angels Call" is a counselling companion designed to put you in touch with your feelings. Since the experience of grief and bereavement is so intense, you’re almost already there. Just a little push and the right resource book and you’re on your way. For most of us, all we need is Permission to Feel. Our heart and soul will take it from there because we have engaged the body and heart’s own innate healing process.<br />
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Trying to apply Externals to an internal problem is futile. It only serves to distract us from the real issue which our feelings will gladly tell us about. Thankfully, counselling and audio ebooks like How to Cope with Grief and Loss will re-acquaint you with your feeling nature and guide you through the process of grief recovery.<br />
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You now have what you need to heal your grief. You will recover from this tragedy and great loss. You will become intimately acquainted with your Heart and Feeling Centre. You will come to a point where you can think about your loved one and smile. Because when the hurt is finally healed, what remains with you forever is the love you carry in your heart. To quote Martha Stewart “And that’s a good thing.”<br />
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<b style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/154979471X?ref_=pe_870760_150889320">When Angels Call - Coping with Grief and Loss</a></b></div>
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Maurice Turmelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16348770053281442364noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436282215781354540.post-86929390771059517232009-02-25T13:09:00.004-05:002017-09-23T12:30:46.823-04:00If Tomorrow Starts Without Me<strong><span style="font-size: 180%;">If Tomorrow Starts Without Me</span></strong><br />
A few years ago a woman was killed in an auto accident. She was very well liked, so the office shut down for her funeral.On the day the workers came back to work, they found this poem in their e-mail that the deceased woman had sent on Friday before she left work to go home. Happy to share this piece here.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><strong>If Tomorrow Starts Without Me</strong></span><br />
"If tomorrow starts without me And I'm not there to see, If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me.<br />
I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today, While thinking of the many things We didn't get to say.<br />
I know how much you love me As much as I love you, And each time that you think of me I know you'll miss me too.<br />
But when tomorrow starts without me Please try to understand, that an angel came and called my name And took me by the hand.<br />
And said my place was ready In heaven far above, And that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly love.<br />
But as I turned to walk away A tear fell from my eye, For all my life, I'd always thought I didn't want to die.<br />
I had so much to live for So much left yet to do, it seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you.<br />
I thought of all the yesterdays The good ones and the bad, I thought of all that we shared And all the fun we had.<br />
If I could relive yesterday Just even for a while, I'd say good-bye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.<br />
But then I fully realized That this could never be, For emptiness and memories would take the place of me.<br />
And when I thought of worldly things I might miss some tomorrow, I thought of you, and when I did My heart was filled with sorrow.<br />
But when I walked through heaven's gates I felt so much at home, When God looked down and smiled at me From His great golden throne.<br />
He said, "This is eternity, And all I've promised you." Today your life on earth is past, but here life starts anew.<br />
I promise no tomorrow But today will always last, and since each day is the same way There's no longing for the past.<br />
So when tomorrow starts without me don't think we're far apart, For every time you think of me I'm right here, in your heart."<br />
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Send this to all those you care about because you never know what's going to happen tomorrow Show them how you care, before it's too late.<br />
May God watch over you and your family now and always. There is no right time to do the wrong thing, there is no wrong time to tell someone you care.<br />
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THANKS TO SHIRLEY WHO LOST HER DAUGHTER IN 2006<br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/154979471X?ref_=pe_870760_150889320">When Angels Call - Coping with Grief and Loss</a></b></span></div>
Maurice Turmelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16348770053281442364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436282215781354540.post-90734933340182570292009-02-24T16:56:00.006-05:002017-09-23T12:09:18.307-04:00Bereavement Help I<div align="justify">
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/154979471X?ref_=pe_870760_150889320">When Angels Call - Coping with Grief and Loss</a></span></strong><br />
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The experience of bereavement is where you come to after the loss of a loved one has begun to work its way through your emotional landscape. Bereavement Help is about choosing resources to help you heal and recover from this emotional trauma.<br />
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You will feel lost for a time. This person who has passed on and left your world represented something important to you. You not only lost them, but a part of yourself as well. Bereavement Help is what you need now to assist you in facing these difficulties, this being essential to your healing.<br />
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Bereavement Help in the form of counseling focuses on this aspect of loss where your emotions are in a heightened state and your mental acuity is low. Depression emerges here, because it is the main consequence associated with loss. But so can anxiety and other uncomfortable feelings. The initial stages often include trauma and confusion which are completely normal given the circumstances. Depression, anxiety and feelings of loss come along later and they will be the focus of your grief recovery.<br />
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If you need medication, see your family doctor and she or he will help you with that. There is no shame in utilizing this type of help. The loss of a loved one is such a shock that initially at least, medication for sleeping and calming you becomes quite necessary. Bereavement Help includes medications as part of an overall strategy to help you recover. All of these emotional and feeling reactions are part of the grieving process and you need to be kind to yourself right now. Give yourself whatever Bereavement Help you require.<br />
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The Bereavement Process is like an illness. It has an onset, middle period and end. When you're first thrust into it, you can't fight back, much as you'd like to try. Your mind reels with possibilities but cannot control your emotional reactions. Bereavement Help is required to calm you down and help you heal the hurt that accompanies a major loss.<br />
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In bereavement, circumstances beyond your control surround you with their dark eerie glow and keep you stuck in that traumatized emotional state. No amount of willpower or mental acuity will undo that. And you'll only beat yourself up every time you try and repeatedly fail.<br />
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After the Bereavement Process starts to wind down, you'll come back to yourself in better form. All of the Bereavement Help Resources that you have utilized will bring you there. Trying to tough this experience out will only keep you stuck and that can last for years. Use books like "How to Cope with Grief and Loss" as a guide and see to it that you get all the bereavement help that you need.<br />
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Bereavement Help and Counseling, in whatever forms you choose, will assist you throughout this process. Think of Bereavement Help as Medication for your Soul. Just add Love and you'll be on your way again. Here are some links to help you focus on specific types of grief and loss.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/154979471X?ref_=pe_870760_150889320">When Angels Call - Coping with Grief and Loss</a></b></span></div>
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Maurice Turmelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16348770053281442364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436282215781354540.post-28806007674697030122008-12-03T13:51:00.002-05:002017-11-18T14:56:22.227-05:00Grief, The Holidays, And You<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">The following press release was put out to several hundred media sources across North America. Here we are facing another holiday season with thousands, if not millions of you, dealing with the experience of Grief and Loss. </span></b><br />
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<i>This is the time of year when I think about my mother, my friend Bruce and my favorite brother-in-law Frank. I miss them all dearly. Now I get to add my dad to this list, and several more friends who passed away since 2015. I will likely shed a few tears. But I will also be celebrating their lives and what they each meant to me. There will be laughter and tears of joy. That's how I remember these loved ones and keep them in my heart forever. Because my grief for each of them is healed, I can easily call them to mind, speak to my family about them, and appreciate what a great benefit they were to me and my life while they were here.</i><br />
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<i>How are you going to deal with this Holiday Season? Are you going to recall your lost loved ones, or are you going to try and avoid any reference to them? That would be sad. Your hurt and pain are testimony to how much they meant to you. Isn't it better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all? What are you waiting for? You don't have to do this alone. Help is readily available.</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075SPR7MY">When Angels Call - Coping with Grief and Loss</a></b></span></div>
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<strong>PRESS RELEASE:</strong><strong></strong>Veteran Therapist Creates New Grief Recovery Book Teaching Individuals How to Cope with Grief and Loss and Start Feeling Better in 3 Months or Less. St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada. Maurice Turmel PhD points out that our feelings lie at the heart of the grief and grieving process, and addressing these with the right tools offers the quickest path to recovery. By dealing with this core component, we temper the shock and trauma associated with grieving process while placing ourselves on a path of genuine healing.<br />
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The grief and grieving process is a subjective emotional experience. It cuts to the core of our being and becomes the emotional wound in our heart that we must now address. This is where the damage lies and where grief healing needs be applied. Understood in this context, we can see why platitudes like “It’s God’s Will” or “Time Heals All” continuously fail and leave sufferers feeling confused, guilty and inadequate.<br />
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Emotions and feelings need to be expressed openly with kind receptive supporters, and privately through the process of journaling for the grief and grieving process to have healing take place. The answer to “How to Cope with the Grief and Grieving Process” lies with modern psychology and the lessons of psychotherapy.<br />
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When people are encouraged to talk about their feelings, they heal more quickly than through all other methods combined. Honest self-relating is required here. Defenses, emotional blockages, addictions and other strategies of denial block the flow of feeling energy and cripple our attempts to engage the grief and grieving process. These common forms of escape prevail until we learn that connecting with feelings and expressing our emotions does in fact promote healing. <br />
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Wars have taught us that repression of feelings and emotions becomes manifested in a condition called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Once the experts identified it, they found a way treat it. They engaged PTSD sufferers in group therapy, one on one counseling and journaling, all part of a newly emerging grief and grieving process approach to recovery. These strategies stand out as the best ways for accepting and releasing feelings associated with any trauma, including the loss of a loved one through death, suicide or broken relationship. <br />
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We have also learned through study of the grief and grieving process that addiction distracts us from feelings we want to avoid. Recovery from addiction, oddly enough, is not much different than dealing with grief and grieving. Expressing feelings in a safe and receptive environment is the key to breaking the back of any addiction and denial process. <br />
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This approach deals effectively with the grief and grieving process at its feeling core. There are many losses to be dealt with in a lifetime. Whether it’s the loss of a job, a broken relationship or the death of a loved one, this feeling-based approach to grief and grieving leads to a healthy recovery in the shortest possible time.<br />
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Let this approach to the grief and grieving process be your short cut to a full and complete recovery where your departed loved one remains in your heart as a loving and positive reminder of who you were together.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075SPR7MY">When Angels Call - Coping with Grief and Loss</a></b></span></div>
<br />Maurice Turmelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16348770053281442364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436282215781354540.post-85947233663771459822008-11-27T17:57:00.004-05:002017-12-05T11:44:15.306-05:00More on Holidays - Always Difficult for Grieving a Loss<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/154979471X?ref_=pe_870760_150889320">When Angels Call - Coping with Grief and Loss</a></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The holidays are upon us again. The US also celebrates Thanksgiving at this time of year, after which the big focus will be Christmas and New Years. Holidays are always difficult for persons in Grief.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The loss of someone important to us comes boldly to the fore at this time. We feel their absence more intensely than at any other time of the year. The tendency is to want to withdraw from all the merry making and celebrating when we are feeling so low about our loved one.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It is necessary to push at times like these. And be prepared to cry more than usual. This would be a good time to write a letter to your loved one, letting them know how much you miss them and whatever else you're feeling at the moment. This is for you, to help reduce the stress, to acknowledge how much you miss them and how it hurts to be without them. This is not a permanent condition. It too will pass.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">For those of you engaged in the How to Cope with Grief and Loss strategies, you will be turning to your journal more often at this time. It's been working for you so far so just ramp it up as much as you need. Listen to the relaxation program. Read and listen to your favorite passages in the book. And let yourself feel. Although this may be intense, when you come out the other side, you will be greatly relieved and your recovery process will have taken a giant leap forward.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">For those of you struggling without guidance, we wish you well. Your tendency as already mentioned will be to distance yourself from activity in order to try and avoid what you're feeling. That'll just make it worse. Be with friends and family at this time, especially if you are sharing this</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">loss with others. There should be some comfort there for you.</span></div>
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<i>Sometimes when we are feeling lost and alone we don’t know which way to</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">turn to possibly renew a friendship.</span></i><br />
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<i>That pal we had so long ago is lost to us now. They have faded away like</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">so many things from our earlier life.</span></i><br />
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<i>Are we to believe that we can no longer sustain such relationships? Are we</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">to let go of all those sources of comfort that once enjoined us and caused</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">us great pride.</span></i><br />
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<i>Our affections for others are what keep us alive. That is, our connection</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">to each other invites us to live again, to breathe, and to satisfy those</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">cravings for friendship we once carried around and dismissed.</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It’s not true that we have to let go of all this as time marches on. It</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">is true however, that we have a greater need for each other as the years</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">speed on by.</span></i><br />
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<i>When we’re alone, we’re alone, but not in the factual sense. We are</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">alone because we feel alone. And we are together because we feel connected.</span></i><br />
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<i>Connected means enjoined. It means we are happy to be in the service of</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">the Lord. He/She is our Creator and Guide. She/He is our Source of constant</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">comfort. Without the Creator we wouldn’t have each other, given that we all</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">sprang from the same “Source.”</span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i>
<i>Now we are ready to move on, to join with each other once again and to</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">share what we know and cherish. The twilight of life is a better place if</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">our lessons to this point have taught us about the value of having good</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">companions while marching on this pilgrimage toward home.</span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i>
<i>Home is where the heart is, and that is where we are all joined together,</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">isn’t it?</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/154979471X?ref_=pe_870760_150889320">When Angels Call - Coping with Grief and Loss</a></b></span></div>
<br />Maurice Turmelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16348770053281442364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436282215781354540.post-84000092572035473732008-10-31T15:49:00.013-04:002017-09-23T12:23:55.291-04:004 Reasons for You to deal with Grief and Loss Now!<br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/154979471X?ref_=pe_870760_150889320">When Angels Call - Coping with Grief and Loss</a></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1) <span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="color: red;">You</span> <span style="color: red;">will feel better</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">knowing you are not alone with this experience of grief as a result of losing a loved one. Many individuals have traveled this path successfully and, those of us who study these processes, have been hard at work creating the tools and strategies necessary to help you safely negotiate the recovery experience.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2) <span style="color: #cc0000;">You will feel better</span> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">as you become aware of how manageable the healing experience can be while you grow accustomed to using tools that will help you get in touch with your feelings. Once aware of what you are feeling, you will be encouraged you to express those feelings and see for yourself how your stress level will begin to recede. Strategies of denial, anger, withdrawal and repression will be abandoned as they should because you are now aware of what’s necessary to safely manage your recovery experience.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3) <span style="color: #cc0000;">You will feel better</span> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">realizing that you no longer have to tough this out, or engage in practices that would deny you the genuineness of your loss. Your heart knows where it’s going and it knows what it needs to help you safely negotiate this path. Open yourself to the possibility that you can have what you want in terms of help and self-awareness, and about the process that will set the stage for your emotional recovery.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4) <span style="color: red;">You will feel better</span> knowing that no one travels this path alone and nor should you. Helpful resources are readily available. The old ways of denial, repression and toughing it out are done. They belong to another era. Today, we are allowed to feel what we feel and express those feelings in a safe and genuine manner. What we do today when facing tragedy is our choice. If we choose the path of recovery, then that’s what we will have. Do not deny yourself the opportunity to heal. Never choose suffering over healing. The spirit of recovery is in the air. Alcoholics recover. Drug addicts recover. Abused children recover. Persons with broken hearts, for whatever reason, can do so as well.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> So start your recovery now and learn how you can not only cope with this experience, but actually heal your broken heart.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> <b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/154979471X?ref_=pe_870760_150889320">When Angels Call - Coping with Grief and Loss</a></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: '; font-size: 12; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span>Maurice Turmelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16348770053281442364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436282215781354540.post-88736294767888654362008-10-30T18:34:00.001-04:002017-09-23T12:25:54.485-04:00Writing helps mother deal with loss of her murderd daughter - News Post Leader<a href="http://www.newspostleader.co.uk/latest/Writing-helps-mother-deal-with.4637005.jp">Writing helps mother deal with loss of her murderd daughter - News Post Leader</a>: "Writing helps mother deal with loss of her murdered daughter<br />
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Lynne Robson.<br />
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By PETRA SILFVERSKIOLD<br />
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"FIVE-and-a-half years ago – on the night of her parents' silver wedding anniversary – 14-year-old Sarah Robson's body was found in a field close to her East Cramlington home.<br />
She had been plied with cheap wine before being raped, then beaten and strangled, leaving her parents and two brothers heartbroken.<br />
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Now her mum Lynne has published a book, If Only, which tells the story of Sarah's life and her family's journey from that devastating knock on the door in February 2003, through the court case and beyond."<br />
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This is great example of "journaling" which is a key tool in grief recovery. This piece of journaling is now public, but it's value extends beyond that. Journaling is a great tool for <a href="http://www.wordbranch.com/store/p71/When_Angels_Call.html">How to Cope with Grief and Loss.</a><br />
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It is a key process to your recovery which we also recommend in our book on the subject of Grief and Loss.<br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/154979471X?ref_=pe_870760_150889320">When Angels Call - Coping with Grief and Loss</a></b></span></div>
Maurice Turmelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16348770053281442364noreply@blogger.com0